Self-Love In An Unrealistic Industry

Self-Love In An Unrealistic Industry

While music can be lights, glamour and fun, there’s also a dark side to the creative industry that we repeatedly forget exists. When we’re young, we often look up to celebrities as icons and examples. We see them as untouchable and perfect and in that idolization, we forget that just like us, celebrities are human too.

The industry is demanding and gruelling. There are so many expectations and it takes a massive toll on your self-confidence. It can become harder and harder to love yourself for who you are and as you come when you’re told constantly that you must change in order to live up to the stereotypical stardom.

A couple of months ago I was on Clubhouse, an app designated for networking and interacting with people from all areas of the industry. I ended up in a room with K Soul, an incredible singer and songwriter whom I had met at an event a couple of years back. She

was telling the room her story and how she had recently come to find self-love. After hearing her story, it inspired me so much that I just had to share her story.

MS SOUL: A FEELING AND A LESSON

This year, I must say has been the only year in my 25 years of being alive that I have battled with anxiety. I wasn’t raised to believe in depression and anxiety, I didn’t believe in it, nor did I want to. Mother always said “you got this”, and I applied the clichè of being a ‘Strong Black Women’ as a defence system which lead to the suppression of my anxiety.

In a way, I was fine with not expressing my emotions directly, as I had music, which was and still is my outlet. But honey then BAMMM! The mental breakdown hit on my 25th birthday and shit got real. The choice I had made to suppress my anxiety came back to bite me, It drew forth all kinds of hidden emotions which travelled to the forefront of my tear glands and my self-love and confidence was affected massively.

I cried like a mourning mother, and I believe that it was my self-grief. I was finally letting go of the anger, sadness and false pretences I had made to make myself feel better about what I truly didn’t like about myself, my experiences, my pain and trauma.

The moment where it fully clicked was at work. On weekdays I’m a teacher for children ages 4-7. I was just sitting there and a little girl came up to me said, “Teacher I can’t do it, I am never going to be able to do it. I’m not good enough.”. My eyes widened and I responded to the young girl, “You are good enough, don’t ever say that about yourself, you can do anything you put your mind to; you’re amazing!”.

At that moment I realised I too am amazing, I am enough, I just need to love myself so that I can maintain being exactly that. Through my own response to her self-

doubt, I became enlightened and healed myself. I realised that sometimes in life we have to lose ourselves to truly find ourselves.

Since the breakdown, I have had the support from my family and friends, but it was never enough because I needed to take accountability. I needed to help me, I needed to be happy for me. I needed to truly love myself because I wasn’t loving me the way I should have been loving me.

Ms Soul!

Instagram: @ksoul_8

A NOTE TO OUR IAB READERS

As a personal note to our IAB readers, this story means a lot to us because I Am Beyoutiful is a brand built on finding self-love and empowering ourselves and the people around us.

No matter where you are in life or how tough it gets we have to remember that WE ARE ENOUGH and that to fear what we believe are the ugly sides of ourselves is to ignore what makes us human. Therefore, embrace who and what you are; the good and what you believe is bad. Be honest with yourself and remember that love starts from within yourself.

Have a self-love story you want to share with IAB? Help spread love and positivity this month by sending a DM to @iambeyoutifuluk or @girlbossgirlsavage on Instagram. Tell us if you want to remain anonymous or not and check out your submission on our insta stories!