The “manly man” and other lies

Our society needs the “manly man” and other lies

The American conservative author, commentator and political activist Candace Owens, recently published a tweet as well as an IGTV in which she openly criticises the fact that Harry Styles is wearing a dress on the Cover of Vogue’s November 2020 issue. Owens states that our society needs, what she calls, a “manly man”. This “manly man” that she is referring to is not supposed to wear a dress, nor have what society defines as feminine features. Furthermore, in her opinion, a woman should not shave her hair nor have power over her own body. It becomes quite clear from the beginning that Owens does not quite understand the issue of sexism and inequality and blames the feminising of men on “satanic Hollywood”.

To start with, let us break down her main arguments. Men should not wear a dress! “Why not?”, you are probably asking yourself. Owens mentions that if she sees a man wearing a dress in the street she would think of him having mental health issues and therefore "would not let her children anywhere near him". To strengthen her argument further, she throws in the late Kurt Cobain, lead singer of the rock band Nirvana, who committed suicide in 1994. By using Cobain as an example, Owens draws a connection between a man wearing a dress and mental ill-health.

She makes the assumption that  people challenging gender norms by the way they dress are mentally ill. First of all, there is no evidence whatsoever that wearing a dress is connected to the struggle with mental ill-health.  If this was  the case, we would be able to more easily spot and therefore help a lot more people suffering with underlying mental health difficulties. Sadly, however, mental illness is way more complex than this. Additionally, Owens also does not seem to understand that depression and other mental illnesses are exactly that, illnesses that people actually suffer with. They should not be used for other people’s amusement. By calling people that suffer with mental illness crazy, she is not only belittling mental illness but also causing damaging effects to those who are affected by it.

It seems that Owens values traditions a lot and likes to do things the way they were done in the past. If this is how she likes to things for herself, absolutely fine, you go girl, but being hurtful to others and on top of that trying to speak for others that she is defining as “normal”, is where it becomes even more problematic and can no longer be ignored. Her definition of a “normal person” is subjective, because it is her opinion. The people who do not fit into her category of “normal people” include feminists, women that shave their hair, left-leaning people, of course men in dresses, parents who do not consist of a “feminine and a masculine figure” and many more. The fact that she refers to them as clowns does not help win people over. Overall, Owens seems more frightened than angry. But of what is she afraid of?

Candace Owens mentions that she is afraid that men will no longer be able to protect her, especially if they are wearing a dress. Personally, I would choose Harry Styles in a dress over any man who might be able to "protect me". More importantly, however, I do not need a man to protect me. I am perfectly capable of protecting myself. Still, this is only my personal opinion and if you choose to like a “manly man” then that is absolutely fine too. What Owens does not understand is that as long as you are not hurtful to others (wearing a dress does not hurt anyone) and comfortable with your decisions, may it be shaving your head, wearing a dress or dating a “manly man”, nobody should have a word in how you express yourself. Our world is far from perfect, but as a result of people who fight against toxic stereotypes every day, it seems to slowly change into a better place for all of us. Owens is absolutely free to talk her mind, but so are you. I know it is frustrating to see someone cheapening the meaning of mental illness through hyperbolic language and disrespecting people who are not fitting their definition of “normal”, but we can learn from her mistakes. What our society needs is an open mind, respect and tolerance. If this comes from a “manly man”, a woman with a shaved head or a man in a dress, it does not matter. Summarised in the words of Harry Styles: “Treat People With Kindness”.